Sunday, January 16, 2011

Warning: potty talk ahead

We were driving to preschool on Thursday.

Augie: "I don't get my butt."

Me: "What is it that you don't understand?"

I took off my earmuffs to hear better, but his little voice couldn't entirely pierce the noise of the engine, the fan valiantly trying to warm the car, and the square tires galumphing over ice ruts and potholes. So what I heard sounded like, "Mfff nuddle shpin Pa said norple glang beezer." He continued for a while, and he seemed to be working through a confusing situation. Then, clarity.

Augie: "I didn't eat enough pressure."

Me: "Are you saying you're still hungry?"

Augie: "No, I'm not hungry. I'm talking about my butt. I didn't eat enough pressure."

Later, Pa helped me figure it out. Augie is a prodigious eater of fruits and vegetables, oat cereals, and other foods that make him a champion pooper. Everyone celebrates this.

But his first attempt that morning was a rare occurrence for him, involving an enormous struggle, a bit of pain, and a clot of nasty little marbles. Soon after, he was back to form, producing two excellent specimens. Pa explained once again about how the right foods produce easy, healthy poop. But during our drive, Augie was still puzzling over what had gone wrong.

In his experience, when you want to move something through a tube, you apply pressure. Hence his conclusion: "I didn't eat enough pressure."

As long as we can equate "pressure" with fiber, this kid's going to be a champion.

26 comments:

DJan said...

I figured it out myself, since I understand the need for the "pressure" to move things right on through! Great post, and I was impressed with Augie's self awareness, too.

Cheryl said...

I never would have gotten that in a gazillion years. Smart boy, that Augie.

Jeanie said...

You certainly can't fault Augie's logic. It is always interesting to see how their minds work.

Daughter Number Three said...

This is the best poop story I've ever heard.

Retired English Teacher said...

The minds of children are really quite amazing. He learned a lesson that I wish most adults could learn.

Red Shoes said...

Hahahaha... I LIKE Augie!!!

~shoes~

Jeanne said...

Bright child--takes after Grandma!

#1Nana said...

If they ever package and sell that "pressure" I could use some!

Abby said...

Hee hee hee. I have the best boy ever.

Jenny Schouten Short said...

Too cute. I have a three 1/2 year old grandson and love listening to him think outloud. They are pretty smart and want to figure our life.

boycottamericanwomen said...
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boycottamericanwomen said...
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IndigoWrath said...

Hey Nancy! He's a bright lad! I love the way their minds think. Sometimes the words are confusing, but the concepts can be surprisingly sophisticated. Indigo

Paul C said...

Thanks for the warning. Funny. My wife and I find eating some grapes every day is a panacea for this bodily function.

Marion Williams-Bennett said...

Brilliant!

I need to eat more pressure, too!

gayle said...

I love what little ones talk about! So cute!

Nezzy said...

I had it figured out. We all need good pressure. Outta the mouths of babes! Heeehehehehe!!!

God bless ya sweetie and have a marvelous week...full of pressure! :o)

Sorry, I just couldn't help myself!

blueviolet said...

The science of pooping! LOL

Lisa @ Grandma's Briefs said...

HA! You had me at "I don't get my butt."

Too, too funny. Glad things came out okay!

Linda Myers said...

Isn't it funny and amazing what the young brains come up with? Love it!

Far Side of Fifty said...

Really cute..thanks for the smile..he is certainly figuring it out! :)

Deb Shucka said...

The cutest ever - and really reflective and insightful for such a little guy. Great story.

Jeanie said...

Oh, I'm just laughing like crazy. I think this is one expression I'm going to remember for a long time!

Kristy said...

OH, that is great. Kids give bodily functions the best words and explanation!

Clipped Wings said...

Smart child, great poop story, lol!

CherylK said...

How funny!! Like my daughter says when she's relating something one of her kids said, "You just can't make this stuff up!" Augie sounds like a hoot!

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