Monday, March 29, 2010

Don’t you know I worry about you?

It happened twice last week: People posted something melancholy, and I began to worry.

Matthew wrote a haunting piece about the moment when you know that a relationship has spiraled from salvageable to over. Oh, no, I thought, he’s been writing about this great relationship and now it’s over? In a comment, I offered my sympathy, and he quickly responded that in fact this scene happened years ago. He’s fine now. Whew.

Then Chantel posted a poetic elegy called "Treading Water" about exhaustion and wondering whether to call for help. Oh-oh, it sounds like she needs help. She wrote back to say “No worries”; she always writes dark when she’s tired. She said she might edit the piece, and as I write this she has taken it down.

Many of the very creative writers produce emotional pieces, some purely autobiographical and others fictional or enhanced for literary effect, whether melancholy or humorous. I find myself jumping in and playing the grandma role, offering sympathy--or advice.

I’ve been known to comment with things like, “If you don’t want to buy the house your hubby likes, hold out for one you like better,” and “If you don’t want to spend your 40th birthday with your mother-in-law, tell her no, and tell hubby he has to stand up for you.” The minute I send the comment, I think, Who am I to tell this person what to do?

I’m not your grandma, but I might play one on your blog.

19 comments:

Matthew said...

You're more than welcome - I have no grandparents left so there's a definite vacancy.

And your concern was incredibly touching. I'm only sorry I had you concerned. :)

Emma said...

That's really sweet. You're definitely not old enough to be my grandma, but I think blogland could use as much sage advice as you're willing to spend time doling out!

The Good Cook said...

You and I are alike - I find myself going all mom on people, then I think, oh stop telling them how to run their lives! I think it's just the care giver in us, no?

DJan said...

You can care about me, I LOVE it, and if it sounds like Grandma, I can take it, with pleasure. I do the same thing, but I hold back. Maybe I shouldn't!

Allyson said...

I, too, have been reading some blogs lately that alarm me. I think that it is such an irony of life that bloggers are commonly known as "me-people" because...let's face it, blogs are usually all about you. But when our bloggy buddies write dark entries, we immediately spring to their rescue because it is NOT all about us. It is all about the community we form on here. I would probably not recognize you if we passed on the street, but I love getting comments from BLissed-Out Grandma!! AND I don't have grandparents anymore, so I actually enjoy some grandma words of wisdom!

And I leave these same kind of opinion-filled comments from time to time. But then, the one thing we bloggers DO have is opinions! And we aren't afraid to share them. And I don't think we should ever apologize for it. ;)

The mad woman behind the blog said...

I am more than grateful for your comments. Can I call you Mom instead? And does this mean you'll introduce me to some baseball players (of any age!)??? Please!!!!
Thank you so much for being a part of my world!

Cheryl said...

Caring is a good thing. I'm always amazed when I'm writing something that comes from a deep place inside and people I actually know don't even leave a comment as simple as "hang in there."

Thanks for making my day with your visits. Gotta go read more of your stuff.

Fragrant Liar said...

That's alright. I think people like the grandmotherly touch, as long as it's not heavy-handed. Then again, some people NEEEEED good advice -- if only they'd TAKE it! :))

Kathy said...

Once a mom or grandma...always a mom or grandma. It's all about being a good listener. That's a good quality. If people didn't want comments from others, they wouldn't write publicly....so keep on offering your sage advice. :)

Kathy said...

Once a mom or grandma...always a mom or grandma. It's all about being a good listener. That's a good quality. If people didn't want comments from others, they wouldn't write publicly....so keep on offering your sage advice. :)

Colleen said...

Blissed-Out, I always enjoy receiving an insightful comment or response from you. We bloggers are a community of friends, and I treasure the relationships I've forged through blogging.

Kitty Moore said...

I love receiving your comments - they make my day. You are a lovely warm caring lady and I feel privileged to have you read my words x

Far Side of Fifty said...

I need as many grandmas as I can get! :)

Ms Sparrow said...

A little friendly advice isn't necessarily grandmotherly. Don't be so self-deprecating. You have much to offer!

CatLadyLarew said...

Everybody's looking for support... the worst thing would be to throw your heart out there and get no response at all. You can be my grandma any day... although you might be a tad bit young for that role.

gayle said...

I love getting advice!!! I hold back giving it sometimes because I am not sure if the person writing it wants it or not!! I think we can all learn from each other!!

injaynesworld said...

Aw, now see. I just want to come get a hug and be told a story. You can play "grandma" to me any time. You clearly have an overflow of love to give. What a very sweet post. I'm so glad you put it up on BPOW,

Happy Easter.

Big hugs, Jayne

Vanessa Rogers said...

Sometimes a grandma's advice is welcome tho :)

Jennifer McLean said...

You can be my blog gramma anytime! All my grandparents are gone now so your concern would always be welcome. :o)

Best,
Jenn

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